Beaters, Cheaters, Liars, and Thieves

Beaters and cheaters have a deep pain inside from injustice that is just waiting for an excuse to act out in unjust ways.

Treating you unjustly makes them feel like less of a victim. It's a shortcut to release their rage by making you take it on rather than processing and forgiving their trauma. 

They did not create the thing inside of them that leads them to act this way. it was done to them as they are doing it to you.Once these shortcuts are taken, it can become so ingrained in their character that there is little chance of ever being free. 

The sudden release of deep pain and feeling of power when flip-flopping from victim to perpetrator Is more addictive than fentanyl. It becomes compulsive. This is how chains of abuse propagate. Some people will break the chain, some will keep adding links.

It is good to hope that they will change, but very unwise to expect it. Chains aren't broken by trying to change anyone. You'll just get linked to the chain.To break the chain, accept that they are what they are.

 Accept that it was done to them as they are doing it to you, and choose to be the bigger person. Release them, then work on forgiving them from a safe distance. 

Stop engaging. 

If you engage they will bring out your shadows and you will abuse them back, or you will become sacrificial and lose yourself. 

I have learned an easy trick to avoid letting these people close enough to cause me harm. Beating and cheating are one side of their coin - lying and thieving are the other. 

Beating and cheating are aggressive, lying and stealing are passive, but they are manifestations of the same lazy shortcut that says "I'll deal with my pain by making someone else a victim." 

Once addicted they will do all of these things compulsively to feed their addiction. 

The lying and thieving are more apparent in casual social relationships. Beating and cheating comes out when you get intimate with them. So if you want to avoid being beaten or cheated on then don't get intimate with liars and thieves.